Step up and support your blogger, people!

My recent exposé of the DFL's shameless (but apparently true) attacks on Steve Drazkowski has drawn the ire of my less loyal readers who feel I am being "melodramatic" by calling it this episode the "lowest point in Minnesota politics."

News flash, people!

The comment section of any blog is not for calling out the blogger or for arguing the merits of a post. It's for affirming the blogger, adding support to his arguments, praising his writing, and attacking his opponents. For instance, here are some appropriate comments from the post mentioned above:

purpleblogdog Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 11:18 pm

The Democrat’s rush to the gutter should not give the GOP the license to do the same with Ms. Pfeilsticker’s private life. Leave it be.

Get back to the issues. Pfeilsticker is a non starter in Steve Sviggum’s district. She will raise taxes. She will vote for Minneapolis and the unions every time.
----
Chestnut Says:
July 28th, 2007 at 10:29 am

Actually, all the accusations against Keith Ellison “(racist, terrorist, infidelity, woman abuser, anti-semite, etc)” are well founded and backed by solid evidence…. He is supported by terrorist-backers, he did cheat on his wife, he did attack his girlfriend, he did host and promote anti-Semitic speakers at the U of M and as a leader in the radical racist organization Nation of Islam. These are all irrefutable facts.

Back to the matter at hand. On the face of it, this add appears not only to be disgusting, but a disgusting, bald-faced lie.

It doesn’t surprise me a bit that a bunch of liberal clowns would justify it here. They justify everything the lying, coward, immoral, unethical Democrat party does.
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AlFrankenFraud Says:
July 28th, 2007 at 12:37 pm

Eva,

Why out Pfielsticker? I personally don’t care about her sexual preference as long as it does not involve children and livestock. You should be ashamed of yourself. But then again, you are a liberal.

At this point, although I enjoyed the attacks on Eva, I asked everyone to "say something nice" about the people they had been attacking in the comments. But, really, I actually just wanted nice comments about my own hard work and the awesomeness that is my premier weblog about Minnesota politics.

I just couldn't come out and ask for your praise and accolades in such a public forum, but since this is a "secret" diary that no one reads, I can just let my feelings pour out: I need your love!

GIVE ME YOUR LOVE!

Oh, and it's a scope people, come on. What else would those be trying to emulate? A camera's telephoto lens?!??!!
Come on people. The DFL is gunning for old "Draz" both metaphorically and literally! Literally!

Give me your redistricting wand, I will heal the state

I have already commented on this post about my plans to get myself heavily involved in congressional redistricting in Minnesota, but I'd like to elaborate on it a bit more. Sean from MN Pubilicious wrote "give your dough to Democrats because we wouldn’t want MDE involved in redistricting any more than we’d want a few kicks in the head."

Well, Democrats could use a few kicks in the head if they can't understand, as I told MN Pubilicious: "Minneapolis and St. Paul belong in the same congressional district. It makes complete sense - one urban core congressional district." Complete sense. Complete. Sense. I'll tell you why.

First, why do you think they're called the "Twin Cities"? It's because Minneapolis and St. Paul are essentially siamese and inseparable, culturally speaking. Sure, on one side of the river you've got streets named with names and on the other side you've got streets named with numbers, but both cities are bastions of liberal intellectualism, each with a campus of the government's University of Minnesota and each with their own private liberal arts colleges. They each have their "alternative" film, food, and music festivals; they each have their minorities and their crime problems and all their "ethnic" restaurants.

But to say that they are culturally distinct or deserve separate representation is pure malarky. If they're all America-hating liberals, let them all hate America together in one bloc and really stick it to us Republicans with a 20% margin in every election. Let them have their Keith Ellison! Who needs that traitor anyway? The liberal traitors, that's who:

Compared to the monoculture of Twin Cities, Greater Minnesota is a choc full of diversity! Why, every town has its own distinct and unique summer celebration with huge savings to be had at the local mall! In Virginia, Minnesota they've got their "Krazee Days." In Bluff County in they've got "Krazee Daze!" In the somewhat more modest and, yes, you could say "conservative" (in the spelling sense, that is) they celebrate their tried and true "Crazy Days."

It's almost enough to make your head spin,
dontcha know!

And that's why out-state Minnesota needs as much representation as it can get! Sure, Ellison can easily represent the sordid underbelly of Minnesota that is its cosmopolitan metropolisseses, but who can hope to represent the interests of, say, a farmer from Fairbault and a bricklayer from Moorhead? It's just unthinkable! If Minnesota were to lose a district, just think of who would lose out. Heck, your elderly Aunt Millie in Bemidji doesn't have much at all in common with your elderly Uncle Buck (sadly, yes, they are estranged) in Cass Lake, a whole five miles away! If Minnesota loses a seat and the districts have to be consolidated, Northwestern Minnesota and Northeastern Minnesota could potentially be represented by just one voice in our nation's chamber of the people!

And in any case, any natural population growth in the state that will allow Minnesota to hold on to its congressmen certainly couldn't be coming from the cities. It's not like urban voters are out there having any kids. They're all a bunch of unwashed hippies whose idea of a good time isn't playing horeshoes at the Church barbeque but rather watching Amazonians collide with one another in violent expressions of feminist rage:


Any growth in the Twin Cities metro area is either due to:

1. Non-Minnesotan refugees from Wisconsin swamping the Twin Cities to enjoy our superior sports teams (the only authentic American culture and entertainment to be found around here); or
2. Out-state Minnesotans forsaking rural family values and throwing their lot in with the godless sodomites of Loring Park

At least in Greater Minnesota good Christian couples are still kickin' out good Christian children, doing their part to keep Minnesota's long-held and hard-won eighth congressional district.

If the Twin Cities weren't so wrapped up in their lattes and their pilates, maybe they could get around to popping out a few and pulling their weight. But as it is, they don't deserve the special privileges of extra representation they currently enjoy and it should be stripped from them, especially if it means Aunt Millie and Uncle Buck would be forced to live in the same district, which, really, was the only thing allowing them to move on from their sad, broken marriage.

No Franken defender, he!

I thank God every time I see Prof. Larry Jacobs land a quote in some piece where he gets to bash the Democrats for not being serious or credible or any number of other things that Democrats will seemingly never, ever be.

Here, he points out in a roundabout way that Hollywood Al Franken doesn't have a chance in hell of beting old Normy boy when it comes to the General Election: "There's clearly some concern among Democrats in Minnesota, and I think nationally about whether there will be a credible candidate who can really take on Coleman," Jacobs says. I feel like I have heard this quote from him a few times, now, but every time it still somehow seems fresh, new, serious, and well considered.

Let's get this straight: Larry Jacobs is the best thing to ever come out of that piece-of-shit hippie-factory known as the Humphrey Institute. He tells it how it is, which is--duh!--always bad for the Democrats. I can't believe he can manage to work at that place. Everyday must be a shitstorm of liberals getting him down for telling the truth about Democrats in his almost daily media exposure.

I hear rumors that he actually is, in fact, a liberal. But let's judge the man on what he says in the public forum and not what his actual deeply-held convictions may be. As long as he bats publicly for our side (and demonstrates that, I guess, the Humphrey Institute isn't completely lost to commie pinko big government-lovers), who cares whether the man is really speaking his mind or is just providing himself some non-partisan political cover?

Hey, no fair! Who did that? How? What?

Alright, I don't get how this is happening or who is doing it, but someone must have hacked into my premier website on Minnesota politics and removed a comment of mine about knowing from personal experience that Franken's testicles do, indeed, hang well. My joking reference to "teabagging" (see post below) must have really pissed off those sick bastards in the "queer community" who get off on that shit... makes me sick! Not that they do it (I mean, hey who am I to say what people do with their foreheads), but that they would infringe my First Amendment right to make a joke about it! For shame.

NOTE: THAT IS NOT ME IN THE INCLUDED PICTURE. I AM JUST POSTING THE PICTURE TO ILLUSTRATE THE PRACTICE

These elite gay hackers must be brought to justice. Apparently they didn't have a problem with the comment from venerable site regular Big Kahuna immediately proceeding my deleted comment:

# Big Kahuna Says:
July 19th, 2007 at 4:03 pm

Franny has been keeping them in a little burlap bag by the night stand. Right next to where she keeps hers. ;)

See the double standard!

1. Transvetism = ok
2. Unabashedly straight man with ampel forehead making fun of "teabagging" = not ok

Hypocrites.

In any case, I have changed all my passwords so this will not happen again. Unless whoever did this has some sort of backdoor technique for getting access to to my shit, the integrity of MDE's internal plumbing is secure.

My true experience with Al Franken's testicles

Ok, now I'd like to clear something up here. I wrote a post about Al Franken's testicles today and I left a comment after the fact about having personal experience with Franken's legknockers and I asked if anyone knew what "teabagging" meant.

I would like to explain that I was kidding. I have never seen let alone held Al Franken's testicles nor felt them lightly jostle my generous forehead. I have never been "teabagged" nor conducted "teabagging" myself.

Any pictures that might indicate otherwise which may or may not be in the hands of the lefty bloggers who I got wasted with this one time at the DFL convention were only taken for show and/or were photoshopped. Really, I was mocking them for their own amoral ways. That is all it was, I swear! Nothing intentionally untoward happened while I was there, but god knows what those godless sodomites did at the bar once I stumbled out, headed for home.

Afterall (and to clear up any other confusion), this blog is called MN Democrats Exposé, not MN Democrat Sex pose. That is all.

When you receive a friend request you're supposed to CONFIRM IT

Ok, little rant here: WHY IS NO ONE IN MY GENERATION TECH-SAVVY ENOUGH TO BE A REGULAR FACEBOOK USER?

I mean, hey, sure it takes a lot of technical know-how to maintain Minnesota's premier political weblog but no "mad skillz" are needed to click on a link in an email, sign up for Facebook, and BE MY FRIEND!

Come on, people, get out of the stone age and onto The Information Superhighway. Even if it was invented by Al Gore (heheheh), it is still pretty damn useful. Heck, without the internet I would just be yet another obscure oppo researcher for the GOP!

At least I have two friends on Facebook:

Matthew W. Haapoja and
Steve Jepsen!

Matt and I are good buddies. We were in the thick of it together back when the "controversy" of my employment with the Minnesota Republican Party got the Democrats' panties all in a bunch. He stepped up though and got that all settled with the Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board. Thanks, Matt!

But more importantly, thanks for being my Facebook friend!
FBBFF!!!

(For the uninitiated, that stands for: Facebook Best Friends Forever! Oh, and a hap-tip to you, good sir, for the awesome profile pic of Ronald Reagan Elementary School. Don't you think it's pretty pathetic that there are no buildings honoring our greatest president here in Minnesota?)

And good old Steve Jepsen... now where have I worked with Steve again? Oh that's right we were tight during the Bush-Cheney '04 race, helping to spread the good word in Minnesota. Now, people will tell you that being in charge of the field staff just blows (you have to deal with those pimple-faced college sophomore underlings, but, wait... I do remember a Jessica... Jess?... who worked under him for a while and honestly wasn't half bad looking) but at least Steve got to go out a bit and do lit drops and door knockings and all that old skewl jazz while I was stuck cooped up in the office doing research.

Thanks for the good times, Steve!
FBBFF!!!

Oh, and I'd like to give a shout-out to my personal cheering section, the members of FANS OF MICHAEL BRODKORB!

It's getting to meet awesome conservative young people like yourselves that makes all this work worthwhile. If I can inspire the kids with this new pioneering media endeavor, then the battle has been won.

You guys rock!

Keep up the good work. But please, tell your friends, spread the word, and get that group really going!

UPDATE: Oh and I wouldn't mind a friend request or two!

UPDATE #2: At the very least, Jessica, if you are reading this: would you please just stop denying my friend requests and add me as a "limited" friend, if that's what it takes?!?

Reader Mail!

I've just gotten my first piece of fan mail (send me your thoughts, feelings, starting points for discussions to mndemocratsexpose@gmail.com!) here at my new personal diary blog. Exciting! Here it is:

Hey "FMB"!

WTF man? Is you fo realz? I've seen these fake diary sites before and either your a) dumb as shit, b) crazy as a fox, or c) just another FSJ wannabe. So which is it? Oh and how come your all up in this CREW/Franken Flunky grill? Aren't you just a shill for the GOP (specifically, for Mark Kennedy and Michele Bachmann)?!? I mean, I'm not trying to be critical... just helping you cover your bases man.

Sincerely,
A Big Fan from Mankato

Well, ABFfM, thanks for your email! I will answer your questions in order.

First, yes I am "fo realz." By modelling my personal diary on that of Fake Steve Jobs, I am creating a smokescreen of mystery:

• Is he or isn't he?
• If not yes, then who? Why?
• If yes, as you said, "WTF?"

In the end, the mystery allows me to "let my hair down" and be mo' "realz" fo' you (notice, I get to use some crazy funny font sizes and colors... awesome huh?!). I can say things here that I can't say at my news-leading, hard-hitting, journalistically-superior, world-conquering weblog, Minnesota Democrats Exposed. MDE has become just too big, and it can get a little stifling having to serve that demanding audience all the time. So here I am, reaching out to those true fans who want to know more about the man behind the phenomenon.

Think of this as the site where you can get to know just "Mike," not "Michael B. Brodkorb."

And to answer your second question, well, I have been up front about my financial wheelings and dealings (ever since I was called out on it, that is). But come on, a playa's gotta pimp, know what I mean man?! Blogging ain't no holiday, believe you me. After a long day of posting kick-ass screeds, so what if I like to kick back at a few party fundraisers and take in the perks? So what if I take some cash on the side from righteous campaigns and help them fight the good fight against the neofascist liberal hatemongers on the left? Means to an end, man, means to an end.

The difference between me and this Sloan dude is pretty clear: he's a liberal and is trying to destroy America by getting Franken elected. Well it's not going to happen... Minnesota won't stand for Hollywood deciding what's best for us.

Next question!